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Calmness in our lives

December 10, 2008

from an email

CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, ‘The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.’

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.  You have no idea how good I feel right now.

Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.

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Sad State of Affairs

November 5, 2008

Lots of disappointing results in the voting last night, but this one just leaves me wondering what’s wrong with people.

In my state, people could vote for a constitutional amendment that would permanently increase our sales tax. This was advertised as money that would be used to “clean up the water”. But that was just a small fraction of the increase. The remainder goes to the arts programs in our capitol city.

In my school district, people could vote for levies that would maintain current budgets, allowing slightly for inflation and for added monies for technology.

We managed to vote for clean water, but we have denied our kids a decent education.  Where do our values lie? Well, if you look at the numbers, on stage, not in the classroom.

This makes me very sad.

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Today we vote

November 4, 2008

and i cannot wait for this whole thing to be over. While I fear what might happen, I just think we need to have the results and move on as a nation. I’m tired of the whole thing, the ads, the lies, the slick slogans, the deception. It amazes me that people are so blinded.

Yes, i fear the worst and i’m hoping it doesn’t happen, but what i really want is it to be November 5th.

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Fall Back

November 3, 2008

It’s such a great day in the year! you know, the one where you get to put the clocks back and get an extra hour on a Saturday night to either sleep or be out for dinner with friends. I always look forward to it. The sun is actually starting to rise by the time I get up instead of getting up in total darkness. When the kids were little, I’d put them to bed, change the clocks back an hour and go to bed! what bliss! Now that they’re older, I let them stay up to enjoy the hour, too.

But this year, when I desperately needed 8:30 to roll around, I had to wait a whole extra hour.  My son was up all night with bad ear pain and I was waiting to take  him to urgent care when it opened at 8:30. Poor thing, had to wait through an extra hour of pain.  Of course, it happens like that, the one weekend he gets an ear infection, it’s the weekend of extra time!

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Looking Back

October 29, 2008

I don’t think I appreciated what I had when I was 17, 18 years old.  So much independence and freedom. I always thought there was no way I’d go back and do those years again, but I think I’ve changed my mind. I wish I could go back and live those years again, with  more enthusiasm and confidence.

I work in an Elementary school, and yesterday, as I sat in my car at the end of the day waiting for my kids to come out, I saw one of the high school students that had been volunteering for me in that afternoon come out of the school. She was parked next to me. Tall, thin, adorable clothes, lettermen jacket, swinging keys to her cute but old little truck. And it was then I knew I wanted to trade places with her.

I did not have the best years of my life at 17, 18, 19. but they were fairly carefree. School, work, driving around in a car that leaked gas, listening to “Dirty Dancing” on the cassette player. Off to McDonald’s for fries and a diet coke, maybe to the gas station for tic tacs and gum. I remember times when I had dropped my boyfriend off at his place, (I always drove, hmm) and I would be driving back home again, windows down, radio blarring, flashing my lights at the red lights to get them to change before I got there, just feeling Happy.

This girl was off to maybe some sort of sports event, or practice, maybe to a job, maybe to see a boyfriend, maybe to go to the mall and hang out with friends. I realized that kind of freedom just does not exist for me anymore and I felt sad thinking I had not appreciated it as much as I should have when I had the chance.

I was on my way home to cook dinner, finish laundry, get three kids through homework, load the dishwasher, return some calls, navigate sibling rivalry and try to remember to stop and buy more milk.

Yes, the thought crossed my mind, that I was wishing it was me, jumping in that cute little truck and racing off to more freedom, but I guess that’s not really the point of all this.

What it made me realize is this:

I do not want to look back in another 20 years and worry that I had not appreciated all that I have right now, at this moment in time.

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My baby started Kindergarten

September 14, 2008
I Trust You’ll Treat Her Well
Author: Victor Buono
Dear World:
I bequeath to you today one little girl…in a crispy dress…with two brown eyes…and a happy laugh that ripples all day long.. and a flash of light brown hair that bounces in the sun when she runs.
I trust you’ll treat her well.

She’s slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning…and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine.
Prim and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Goodbye” and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she’ll learn to stand in lines…and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She’ll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school-bells…and deadlines…and she’ll learn to giggle…and gossip…and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy ‘cross the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she’ll learn to be jealous. And now she’ll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she’ll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn and kiss lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she’ll worry about those important things…like grades and which dress to wear and whose best friends is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls. And now she’ll find new heroes.

For five full years now I’ve been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and mother and friend. Now she’ll learn to share her worship with her teachers …which is only right. But no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time…she’ll learn what it means to be a member of the group…with all its privileges and its disadvantages too.

She’ll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud…or kiss dogs…or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms…or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer.
Today she’ll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I’ll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman.
So, world, I bequeath to you today one little girl…in a crispy dress…with two brown eyes…and a flash of light brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.

I trust you’ll treat her well.

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too much to bear

August 7, 2008

my nephew is 16 months old. He managed to burn both his hands on glass surrounding a fireplace. It’s pretty bad. Every day he has had to go in to the ER, or the doctor’s office, now the burn unit. It seems like each time he goes in, the news is even worse. At first they said 2nd degree burns. now it looks like one part of his right hand has a 3rd degree burn and will need a skin graft next week.

He’s such a trooper. He cries, alot, when they have to mess with his hands, redress them and what not, but the rest of the time, he’s smiling and trying to play. He sticks pretty close to his mom, and he gets very frustrated about not being able to use his hands. It seems like such a nightmare.

But it’s mom and dad i worry about more. They are having such a hard time. It’s so sad, so heartbreaking, so horrifying, really. But I just really hope they can remember that what’s happening now is in his best interest. It’s all forward progression now, and even though it sucks, big time, it  just is.

It’s hard for everyone. me too. i can’t handle the thought of him hurting this way and i can’t handle the thought of my sister hurting this way, either.

It just seems like it’s too much to bear.